Saturday, March 26, 2011

Rotten to the Corre- Episode V: Golden Boys

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*The Corre have just opened a bottle of wine and are celebrating Wade Barrett’s Intercontinental Championship victory.*

Wade: This is the greatest night of my life!

Justin: Congratulations, Wade! We knew you could do it.

Heath: Well, I wasn’t sure of you could beat Kofi Kingston, but was happy that you did.

Wade: Heath, I’m not going to let your backhanded compliment get the better of me tonight. I’m in too good of a mood.

Heath: I mean what I said. I’m ecstatic to know that you’re now in the same lineage as talent such as Dean Douglas, The Mountie, Road Dogg, Albert and Chyna.

Wade: I’m glad I’m now associated with the likes of Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Steve Austin, The Rock, Bret Hart, Mr. Perfect, Pat Patterson and Roddy Piper. Try to comeback from that.

*Heath stands there with a puzzled look on his face, before an idea pops into his head and he lights up.*

Heath: Diesel held the belt and you hate him.

Wade: Fine, you win. That doesn’t matter, though. This is still a great night for me and for the Corre.

*While those three are celebrating, Ezekiel Jackson is standing with a sorrow look on his face.*

Justin: What’s the matter, Ezekiel? You look depressed.

Ezekiel: I’m not depressed. If anything, I’m happy for you, Wade. It’s just that, you three all have titles and I’m stuck with nothing.

Wade: That’s not true.

Ezekiel: What do you mean?

*Wade grabs a bag from the closet and pulls out the ECW Championship.*

Wade: You’re the last ECW Champion. An honor in which nobody can take away from you.

Heath: Unless Vince decides to bring it back again and get one last run in as champ by making you join his “Kiss My Ass” club.

*Vince McMahon walks by the locker room and overhears this statement.*

Vince: You know, that’s not such a bad idea.

*Ezekiel has a horrified look on his face, until Vince starts to laugh.*

Vince: I’m just kidding, Ezekiel. I would never do that to you. If any Corre member would be kissing my ass, it’d be Justin. After all, he live an alternative lifestyle.

*Vince struts away laughing at his joke.*

Justin: Damn it, Cena! Now you’ve got the boss making alternative lifestyle jokes.

Wade: That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that we all have a title, which gives us a tremendous edge going into Wrestlemania.

Heath: Actually, Christian has an edge going into Wrestlemania. His name is Adam Copeland.

Wade: Do you ever stop cracking jokes?

Heath: No, it’s in my contract.

Wade: Knock it off with the jokes!

Heath: I’m not kidding; look.

*Heath pulls out his contract and points to him cracking wise being necessary.*

Wade: Well, I’ll be.

Justin: What’s this at the bottom about having to massage Vickie’s feet every Wednesday night?

Heath: Nothing!

*Heath shoves his contract back into his bag.*

Justin: It’s not nothing. I clearly seen it state that you have to massage Vickie’s feet.

Ezekiel: I seen it, too.

Heath: No, you didn’t. It said that I had to get a massage from someone named Dixie every Wednesday night.

Ezekiel: Why would that be in your contract?

Heath: I’m awesome, that’s why!

Justin: You’re not The Miz.

Wade: Enough! It doesn’t matter whose feet Heath has to massage. Though I do find it funny that it has to be Vickie’s. Anyway, what matters is that we’re all champions. I say we raise our glasses and make a toast.

*The Corre raise their glasses and make a toast.*

Wade: To the Corre: for conquering Smackdown and claiming gold.

Corre (altogether): TO THE CORRE!

Justin: Actually, Ezekiel doesn’t have gold. His title is silver.

Ezekiel: You’ve got a problem with my title?

Justin: No! I’m just pointing out a fact. Wade said we all had gold, but you don’t.

Ezekiel: At least my title looks like a championship. The Tag Team titles look like giant pennies.

Justin: They do not! They have gladiators on them!

Heath: Knock it off, you two! If it bothers Ezekiel that much that his title is silver, we’ll get crayons and color in some gold.

Ezekiel: I am not letting you deface my championship like that!

Wade: Calm down, everybody. Nobody’s going to color on the ECW Championship. Besides, where would we get crayons at a time like this?

Heath: I have some in my bag.

*Heath pulls out crayons and a notepad from his bag.*

Wade: Why do you have crayons in your bag?

Heath: I get bored on the trips, so I color to keep me occupied. Here’s a picture of a duck I drew.

*Heath hands Wade the drawing.*

Wade: Why is the duck blue?

Heath: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.

Justin: Well, I think it's an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.

Heath: Wow, Mr. Gabriel, that's great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck?

*Heath pretends to be the duck.*

Heath: That’s quacktastic!

*Heath and Justin high-five, while Wade face palms.*

Wade: *mutters* I’m surrounded by idiots.

Justin: What was that?

Wade: Nothing. Enough with these movie references and back to celebrating. Justin, did you bring that music I asked for?

Justin: Yes, I did. One moment please.

*Justin connects speakers to his laptop and turns on the music. “Thank You for Being a Friend” starts to play.*

Wade: This isn’t the song I asked for.

Justin: Are you sure?

Wade: Yes, I’m sure! I asked for “We Are the Champions”, not the “Golden Girls” theme.

Heath: What’s wrong with the “Golden Girls” theme?

Wade: “Golden Girls” was terrible!

Ezekiel: I loved “Golden Girls”!

*Wade, Heath and Justin give Ezekiel weird looks.*

Justin: You like the “Golden Girls”?

Ezekiel: Yeah. What’s wrong with that?

Justin: Nothing. Just strange, that’s all.

Ezekiel: How so?

Wade: Two reasons: One, you’re not the demographic that the show was hunting for; and two, “Golden Girls” sucked!

Ezekiel: They did not!

Wade: Did so!

Ezekiel: Did not!

Wade: Did so!

Ezekiel: Did not!

Wade: Did so!

Heath: Guy, guys, enough already. I personally liked the “Golden Girls”, too.

Wade: *mutters* Of course, you would.

*Heath gives Wade a glare.*

Heath: I think we should rename the group Golden Boys.

Wade: No!

Ezekiel: I like it!

Justin: So do I!

Heath: That’s three votes to one, we win. Golden Boys it is!

Wade: That’s not how this works.

Heath: Why not?

Wade: Because I said so?
Ezekiel: That’s not fair.

Wade: Do you want me to go tell Vince that I think him winning the ECW title again and making you join his “Kiss My Ass” club is a good idea?

Ezekiel: No, sir.

Wade: That’s what I thought. Therefore, the name remains. We are the Corre.

*Wade raises his glass.*

Wade: To the Corre!

Corre (altogether): To the Corre!

Michael McGillicutty: To the Corre!

*All four members of the Corre shoot their heads toward the door and see Michael standing there sheepishly.*

Wade: What are you doing here?

Michael: Well, the New Nexus didn’t work out as planned, so I was hoping I could join the Corre.

Wade: No! Get out of here!

*Wade shoos Michael away and returns to the room.*

Wade: Can you believe that guy?

Heath: No. Besides, shouldn’t he be in Florida?

Wade: Anyway, to the Corre!

Corre (altogether): To the…

*They all look around to make sure the coast is clear.*

Corre (altogether): Corre!

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