Image created by 'Crap member, Section 8.
*Wade Barrett lies in his hotel bed, trying to fall asleep. Whenever he’s about to escape into a dream world, Heath Slater’s snoring wakes him up. After awhile, he snaps and jumps out of bed. He puts on a robe and storms out of the room. He pounds on the door of the room next to his. Justin Gabriel groggily opens the door.*
Justin: Wade, it’s 4 in the morning. Why are you pounding on our door?
Wade: You need to do something about your friend. He’s snoring like a bison and is preventing me from getting my beauty sleep.
Justin: I’ve told you before; I can’t do anything about that. We’ve tried snore guards but they don’t work. His mighty snore simply seeps through.
Wade: Here’s a solution: you share a room with him! After all, you two are best friends.
Justin: I can’t do that.
Wade: Why not?
Justin: Uh… because Ezekiel needs me.
Wade: *perplexed* What for?
Justin: Uh… he needs me, and me only, to read him a bedtime story in order to fall asleep.
*Ezekiel Jackson hears this and wakes up.*
Ezekiel: No I don’t! That’s a blatant lie and you know it! You just don’t want to deal with Heath’s snoring.
Justin: Shut up, Ezekiel!
Wade: That settles it. We’re switching roommates!
Justin: Hey look, it’s John Cena.
Wade: CENER! Where?!?
*Justin slams the door, leaving Wade standing in the hallway. He starts pounding and shouting.*
Wade: Open up, Justin!
*Curt Hawkins opens his door and screams at Wade.*
Curt: Knock it off! Some of us are trying to sleep!
Wade: What for? It’s not like you’re going to be booked in a match tomorrow. Dennis Stamp has a better chance of being booked than you do.
*Curt Hawkins stares blankly at Wade before bursting into tears and running back into his room. Wade does heed to his demands and returns to his room. He once again tries to fall asleep, but Heath’s snoring prevents that from happening. In a fit of rage, he wakes him up.*
Wade: That’s it, Heath! Wake up!
*Wade shakes Heath’s bed, instantly waking him up.*
Heath: What the hell is wrong with you, Wade?!? I was dreaming that I was just crowned Miss America.
Wade: You’re snoring has to… wait, why were you dreaming that you were Miss America?
Heath: *embarrassed* I didn’t say that.
Wade: Yes, you did.
Heath: No, I said I was dreaming that I was Mr. Amazing from the Fantastic Four.
Wade: That’s Mr. Fantastic.
Heath: Crap! Uh, I mean… you read comics? What a nerd!
Wade: Nerd jokes, really? Who are you, Michael Cole?
Heath: Maybe I am!
Wade: That’s nothing to be proud of.
Heath: Good point. Anyway, why did you wake me up?
Wade: You’re snoring has to stop. I can’t sleep!
Heath: It’s not as if I can help it. Trust me, I tried. Just put a pillow over your head and you’ll be fine.
Wade: I’ve tried that. You snore like a bison and are easily heard, even if I put Mark Henry over my head.
Heath: That sounded dirty.
Wade: Heath…
Heath: Also, how do you know how a Bison snores? Were you abandoned as a child and raised by them? Or is Mantaur your father?
Wade: *perplexed* I… I don’t even have a response to that. What I do know is that if I don’t get my beauty sleep I’ll look terrible in the ring.
Heath: The Corre are all equals, right?
Wade: Yeah, what’s your point?
Heath: If so, then me getting a full night’s sleep means you will have as well.
Wade: That doesn’t make any sense, Heath.
Heath: That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you since the beginning.
Wade: Hey!
Heath: Look, my snoring isn’t going to stop. If you can’t sleep, why don’t you do something productive? Go hang out with CM Punk. I’m sure he’s still awake.
Wade: Are you an idiot?!? Why would I hang out with Punk? He kicked me out of Nexus and I hate him!
Heath: Sorry, I forgot.
Wade: How could you forget that?
Heath: I’m like Creative; I forget a lot of things. I’m going back to bed.
*Heath drifts back off to sleep, much to the chagrin of Wade. Knowing he won’t fall asleep with Heath in the same room, he heads down to the lobby to see if another one is available.*
Wade: Excuse me, do you have any more rooms available?
Clerk: I’m sorry, sir, we’re all booked. The superstars of the WWE are here. Maybe you’ll get lucky and meet some of them.
Wade: I am one of them!
Clerk: Really? Which one?
Wade: I’m Wade Barrett, former leader of the Nexus and current member of the Corre.
Clerk: Sorry, doesn’t ring a bell.
Wade: Did you watch last year’s Survivor Series?
Clerk: Yeah, it was a great show!
Wade: I was in the main event.
Clerk: Really?!?
Wade: Yes! I challenged Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.
Clerk: That was you?
Wade: Yes! Who did you think it was?
Clerk: *shrugs his shoulders* I don’t know.
*Wade gets frustrated and nearly flips his lid, but opts to storm the hallways instead. He bumps into Daniel Bryan.*
Wade: Daniel, what are you still doing up?
Daniel: Fooling around with Gail.
Wade: How did you ever get a woman like her?
Daniel: You see, I…
Wade: Never mind, I don’t care! Where’s Punks’ room?
Daniel: It’s the last door on the right.
*Wade begins to walk towards the room, only to be called upon by Daniel.*
Daniel: By the way, Wade, I was wondering; how are things going for the Corre?
Wade: They’re going pretty…
Daniel: IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW THINGS ARE!
*Wade has the most shocked look on his face. He stand there in disbelief for nearly a minute, before breaking the silence.*
Wade: Did you just do a Rock impersonation?
Daniel: Yeah, what’d you think?
Wade: Don’t ever do it again. EVER!
*Daniel shrugs him off and walks back to his room. Wade goes to Punk’s door and contemplates on knocking.*
Wade: I can’t believe I’m doing this.
*Wade knocks on the door. Punk answers, but only pokes his head out to the door.
Punk: Wade, what the hell are you doing here?!?
Wade: I’m not looking for trouble. I just wanted to ask you a favor.
Punk: Fine, I’ll let you back into the Nexus. But, you must scrub my back every night and tell me how good I am.
Wade: What? No! Why would I want to rejoin the Nexus? The Corre is going strong and actually has it’s members still intact.
Punk: That’s cold, dude.
Wade: It’s the truth. Anyway, I wanted to know if I could use your room tonight. Heath’s snoring is keeping me awake and I figure, since you’re an insomniac, that you wouldn’t be needing it.
Punk: Tough luck, I am using it.
Wade: For what?
Punk: None of your business!
Wade: Don’t get testy with me! I was simply asking a question.
*The two begin to argue when a voice interrupt them. It is very raspy and demanding. Wade is familiar with it.*
Wade: Is that…
Punk: No!
*Mae Young interrupts the two, wearing nothing but a towel.*
Mae: What’s holding you up, boy?
Wade: Oh my God!
Punk: It’s not what it looks like! She needed help with her dentures and I’m simply giving her a hand.
Wade: Why isn’t she wearing any clothes?
Punk: That’s because she…
Mae: It’s because he’s giving me a hand in the old sackarooni, if you know what I mean.
Wade: I don’t think I want to.
*Punk shoves Mae back into the room and comes out into the hallway with Wade, closing the door behind him.*
Punk: This is between me and you. I’m only sleeping with her because I’ve made my way through the single ladies in the locker room. I was bored and horny and she happened to be in town. If anything, this is me doing a good deed for once.
Wade: What kind of a good deed is that?
Punk: Helping out the elderly. She may be old, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have needs. Besides, she has a few tricks up her sleeve.
Wade: That’s just sick! I’ve got to tell people.
Punk: No! You do it and I reveal the bigger picture.
Wade: How do you know what the bigger picture is?
Punk: David Otunga told me.
Wade: I don’t believe you.
*Punk whispers the bigger picture into Wade’s ear.*
Wade: That son of a bitch!
Punk: Is this between me and you, then?
Wade: Yes.
Punk: Good! Now, be on your way, young one.
*Wade starts to leave, only for Punk to stop him.*
Punk: Also, don’t think about telling your boys, either. Otunga also told me about that night in Las Vegas.
Wade: He promised it was a secret!
Punk: Can it, prom queen! Go back to your room and snuggle with Ron Howard.
*Wade is visibly pissed, but leaves knowing the circumstances. He heads back to his room, but chooses to sleep on the floor outside. That way he doesn’t hear Heath’s snoring. He finally starts to drift off to sleep, only for images of Punk and Mae Young start dancing in his head. Mortified, he gets and goes back into his room.*
Wade: Damn you, Punk!
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