Rotten to the Corre- Episode VI: If Ya Smell...

Image created by ‘Crap member Section 8.

Wade: If Kane and Big Show think that teaming with Santino and Kozlov at Wrestlemania is enough to even the odds, then they’re naïve.

Ezekiel: You got that right.

Wade: We’ve done nothing but embarrass and overpower Kane and Big Show. You’d think that, when finding help, they’d get men who are even bigger and stronger than they are.

Ezekiel: I hear you, Wade.

Wade: Sure, Kozlov has brute force, but not enough to take us down. Add in that Santino is nothing more than a human punching bag and we’ve got ourselves an easy victory at Wrestlemania.

Ezekiel: Damn straight!

Wade: I wouldn’t mind it so much had they chosen wrestlers who we haven’t decimated time and time again.

Ezekiel: You mean superstars.

Wade: What?

Ezekiel: You called Santino and Kozlov wrestlers, when they’re actually superstars. According to WWE, anyway.

Wade: Who cares what they’re referred as?!? Come Wrestlemania, they’ll be road kill!

Ezekiel: I think WWE would care.

Wade: Since when did we care about the WWE?

*Ezekiel stands there stroking his chin, thinking about the question for a good while.*

Ezekiel: They pay us?

Wade: Fine! That’s one good thing they do!

Ezekiel: We all know you need more income for your already sizable bank account.

Wade: You’ve been playing Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 again, haven’t you?

*Ezekiel puts his head down in shame.*

Ezekiel: Yes, sir.

Wade: What did I tell you about playing that game?

Ezekiel: That it’s nothing more than a distraction than my real duty, which is watch over the Corre and make sure nothing goes wrong.

Wade: Exactly!

Ezekiel: If it’s any consolation, you’re my World Heavyweight Champion in Universe Mode.
Wade: That’s nice, but it doesn’t mean much. Heath holds all the gold in his copy, which we all know is impossible.

*Wade waits for Heath to whine and retaliate, but is met with silence. Wade looks around to notice that both Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel are missing.*

Wade: Where the hell are Heath and Justin?

Ezekiel: They’re getting The Rock’s autograph.

Wade: Excuse me?

Ezekiel: They’re getting The Rock’s autograph.

Wade: I know what you said!

Ezekiel? Then why did you say excuse me? That led me to believe you didn’t hear me. You shouldn’t mess with people’s emotions like that, Wade.

Wade: How is that messing with your emotions?

Ezekiel: You see…

Wade: It’s a rhetorical question. Follow me!

Ezekiel: Where are we going?

Wade: We’re going to get Heath and Justin and end this charade.

Ezekiel: Why?

Wade: It’s a…

Ezekiel: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHY WE’RE GETTING HEATH AND JUSTIN!

*Wade stares in shock at Ezekiel.*

Wade: Why does everybody keep doing that to me?

Ezekiel: It’s fun to…

Wade: Rhetorical question, Ezekiel!

Ezekiel: Sorry.

Wade: Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again. Now, let’s go!

*Wade and Ezekiel leave their locker room and hunt for Heath and Justin. They bump into Zack Ryder in the hallway.*

Wade: Zack, have you seen Heath and Justin?

Zack: Yeah, bro. They’re waiting in line to get The Rock’s autograph.

Wade: There’s a line?
Zack: Yeah, broski.

Wade: Let me guess. You got his autograph?

Zack: Woo woo woo, you know it!

*Wade stares a hole through Zack Ryder.*

Wade: Where is the autograph session at?

Zack: Right down this hallway and take a right.

Wade: Let’s go, Ezekiel!

*Wade and Ezekiel begin to walk towards the end of the hallway. Ezekiel stays behind and stops Zack Ryder.*

Ezekiel: Hey Zack, do you think I could get one of those Woo Woo Woo headbands?

Zack: Definitely, sweet tea!

*Zack grabs a headband out of his back pocket and hands it to Ezekiel.*

Zack: Buy my shirt and I’ll give you an autograph. I may even make you my Broski of the Week on my show.

Ezekiel: You would do that for me?

Zack: Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. For now, enjoy the headband.

*Ezekiel puts the headband on and giggles. He quickly catches up with Wade at the autograph session.*

Wade: Can you believe this, Ezekiel? A bunch of grown men standing around waiting for an autograph from a man who thinks the phrase, “Sour cream on an ice cream sandwich” is a thing of beauty?

*Curt Hawkins and Trent Barreta turn around and confront Wade.*

Curt: That man just so happens to be one of the best superstars to ever lace up a pair of boots.

Trent: He’s also one of the hottest movie stars in Hollywood today.

*Wade begins to laugh uncontrollably.*

Wade: You two are right. Not only is his sharpshooter “picture perfect”, but “The Tooth Fairy” is this decade’s “Gone with the Wind”.

Trent: I liked “The Tooth Fairy”!

Wade: I’m sure you did.

Trent: What’s that supposed to mean?

Wade: It means go back to Superstars where you belong!

*Curt and Trent stare at each other puzzled.*
Curt: That made no sense, whatsoever.

Wade: Neither does your career!

Ezekiel: BURN!

*Curt and Trent run away crying, as Wade and Ezekiel cut in line. They see Heath and Justin at the front, both getting The Rock’s autograph.*

Wade: Heath! Justin! Come here, now!

Heath: One minute, Dad. We’re getting The Rock’s autograph!

Wade: I know, that’s the problem.

Justin: Why?

Wade: Do you know how pathetic it is, as a grown man and a member of The Corre, to beg for his autograph?

Heath: We’re not begging. He’s simply giving it to us.

Wade: I don’t care if he’s shining his boot up and shoving it up his own ass! The fact of the matter is…

*The Rock stands out of his chair, removes his sunglasses and stares a hole into Wade Barrett.*

Rock: What in the blue hell is your problem?

Wade: You!

Rock: Is that so?

Wade: Yes, Rocky, it is so. Your type bothers me.

Rock: What do you mean by my type?

Wade: I mean…

Rock: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU MEAN!

Wade: That’s exactly why I hate you! Do you know how many people have been doing that to me lately?

Rock: Including me, three.

Wade: How did you know that?

Rock: Lucky guess.

Wade: You keep up your routine and you won’t be so lucky.

Rock: If I were you, I’d turn around and walk away right now.

Wade: If I don’t?

Rock: Then The Rock is going to shine up his boot…
Wade: ..shove it sideways and stick it straight up my candy ass, right?

Rock: How dare you interrupt The Rock?

Wade: How dare you walk back into this company and act as if you own the place? The Corre has tried their best to erase garbage such as you from this place and to stake our claim. Only for you to waltz back in here and act as if you never left.

Heath: I don’t mean to interrupt, but technically the only person associated with the WWE who is waltzing currently is Chris Jericho.

Wade & Rock: SHUT UP, HEATH!

Rock: Let The Rock inform you of something, Wade. You think you’re so special, simply because you brainwashed a couple of guys into believing your hype. I know this, because I’ve been there. I too once thought I was the hottest prospect to ever step foot into the WWE. I convinced a couple of fellows that I was going to take them into the stratosphere and dominate this company. They believed me, only to regret it later.

Justin: He’s referring to the Nation of Domination.

Wade: I know what he’s referring to, Justin! It doesn’t matter, as The Corre is not some two-bit operation. Unlike the Nation, we are taking over the WWE and will dominate this company.

Ezekiel: It says so in my theme.

*The Rock stares at Ezekiel, then begins to laugh.*

Rock: Your headband says otherwise.

*Wade notices the headband and rips it off of Ezekiel’s head.*

Wade: What the hell is your problem?!? You’re making us look like fools!

Rock: Ezekiel isn’t making you look like fools, Wade. You are!

Wade: I’ve had enough of your attitude! Heath, Justin, Ezekiel, back to the locker room!

*Dejectedly, the three Corre members follow Wade back to their locker room. Before they turn the corner, Wade stops and gets The Rock’s attention once more.*

Wade: By the way, Rock, how does it feel to be back in the WWE?

Rock: It feels pretty…

Wade: IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW IT FEELS!

*Everybody stares blankly at Wade, not believing what they just heard. Wade laughs and walks back to the locker room.*

Cena: BURN!

Rock: Where the hell did you come from?

Cena: I was getting a hot dog and overheard the conversation.

Rock: Good for you, ya jabroni!

Rotten to the Corre- Episode V: Golden Boys

Image created by ‘Crap member, Section 8.

*The Corre have just opened a bottle of wine and are celebrating Wade Barrett’s Intercontinental Championship victory.*

Wade: This is the greatest night of my life!

Justin: Congratulations, Wade! We knew you could do it.

Heath: Well, I wasn’t sure of you could beat Kofi Kingston, but was happy that you did.

Wade: Heath, I’m not going to let your backhanded compliment get the better of me tonight. I’m in too good of a mood.

Heath: I mean what I said. I’m ecstatic to know that you’re now in the same lineage as talent such as Dean Douglas, The Mountie, Road Dogg, Albert and Chyna.

Wade: I’m glad I’m now associated with the likes of Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Steve Austin, The Rock, Bret Hart, Mr. Perfect, Pat Patterson and Roddy Piper. Try to comeback from that.

*Heath stands there with a puzzled look on his face, before an idea pops into his head and he lights up.*

Heath: Diesel held the belt and you hate him.

Wade: Fine, you win. That doesn’t matter, though. This is still a great night for me and for the Corre.

*While those three are celebrating, Ezekiel Jackson is standing with a sorrow look on his face.*

Justin: What’s the matter, Ezekiel? You look depressed.

Ezekiel: I’m not depressed. If anything, I’m happy for you, Wade. It’s just that, you three all have titles and I’m stuck with nothing.

Wade: That’s not true.

Ezekiel: What do you mean?

*Wade grabs a bag from the closet and pulls out the ECW Championship.*

Wade: You’re the last ECW Champion. An honor in which nobody can take away from you.

Heath: Unless Vince decides to bring it back again and get one last run in as champ by making you join his “Kiss My Ass” club.

*Vince McMahon walks by the locker room and overhears this statement.*

Vince: You know, that’s not such a bad idea.

*Ezekiel has a horrified look on his face, until Vince starts to laugh.*

Vince: I’m just kidding, Ezekiel. I would never do that to you. If any Corre member would be kissing my ass, it’d be Justin. After all, he live an alternative lifestyle.

*Vince struts away laughing at his joke.*

Justin: Damn it, Cena! Now you’ve got the boss making alternative lifestyle jokes.

Wade: That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that we all have a title, which gives us a tremendous edge going into Wrestlemania.

Heath: Actually, Christian has an edge going into Wrestlemania. His name is Adam Copeland.

Wade: Do you ever stop cracking jokes?

Heath: No, it’s in my contract.

Wade: Knock it off with the jokes!

Heath: I’m not kidding; look.

*Heath pulls out his contract and points to him cracking wise being necessary.*

Wade: Well, I’ll be.

Justin: What’s this at the bottom about having to massage Vickie’s feet every Wednesday night?

Heath: Nothing!

*Heath shoves his contract back into his bag.*

Justin: It’s not nothing. I clearly seen it state that you have to massage Vickie’s feet.

Ezekiel: I seen it, too.

Heath: No, you didn’t. It said that I had to get a massage from someone named Dixie every Wednesday night.

Ezekiel: Why would that be in your contract?

Heath: I’m awesome, that’s why!

Justin: You’re not The Miz.

Wade: Enough! It doesn’t matter whose feet Heath has to massage. Though I do find it funny that it has to be Vickie’s. Anyway, what matters is that we’re all champions. I say we raise our glasses and make a toast.

*The Corre raise their glasses and make a toast.*

Wade: To the Corre: for conquering Smackdown and claiming gold.

Corre (altogether): TO THE CORRE!

Justin: Actually, Ezekiel doesn’t have gold. His title is silver.

Ezekiel: You’ve got a problem with my title?

Justin: No! I’m just pointing out a fact. Wade said we all had gold, but you don’t.

Ezekiel: At least my title looks like a championship. The Tag Team titles look like giant pennies.

Justin: They do not! They have gladiators on them!

Heath: Knock it off, you two! If it bothers Ezekiel that much that his title is silver, we’ll get crayons and color in some gold.

Ezekiel: I am not letting you deface my championship like that!

Wade: Calm down, everybody. Nobody’s going to color on the ECW Championship. Besides, where would we get crayons at a time like this?

Heath: I have some in my bag.

*Heath pulls out crayons and a notepad from his bag.*

Wade: Why do you have crayons in your bag?

Heath: I get bored on the trips, so I color to keep me occupied. Here’s a picture of a duck I drew.

*Heath hands Wade the drawing.*

Wade: Why is the duck blue?

Heath: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.

Justin: Well, I think it's an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.

Heath: Wow, Mr. Gabriel, that's great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck?

*Heath pretends to be the duck.*

Heath: That’s quacktastic!

*Heath and Justin high-five, while Wade face palms.*

Wade: *mutters* I’m surrounded by idiots.

Justin: What was that?

Wade: Nothing. Enough with these movie references and back to celebrating. Justin, did you bring that music I asked for?

Justin: Yes, I did. One moment please.

*Justin connects speakers to his laptop and turns on the music. “Thank You for Being a Friend” starts to play.*

Wade: This isn’t the song I asked for.

Justin: Are you sure?

Wade: Yes, I’m sure! I asked for “We Are the Champions”, not the “Golden Girls” theme.

Heath: What’s wrong with the “Golden Girls” theme?

Wade: “Golden Girls” was terrible!

Ezekiel: I loved “Golden Girls”!

*Wade, Heath and Justin give Ezekiel weird looks.*

Justin: You like the “Golden Girls”?

Ezekiel: Yeah. What’s wrong with that?

Justin: Nothing. Just strange, that’s all.

Ezekiel: How so?

Wade: Two reasons: One, you’re not the demographic that the show was hunting for; and two, “Golden Girls” sucked!

Ezekiel: They did not!

Wade: Did so!

Ezekiel: Did not!

Wade: Did so!

Ezekiel: Did not!

Wade: Did so!

Heath: Guy, guys, enough already. I personally liked the “Golden Girls”, too.

Wade: *mutters* Of course, you would.

*Heath gives Wade a glare.*

Heath: I think we should rename the group Golden Boys.

Wade: No!

Ezekiel: I like it!

Justin: So do I!

Heath: That’s three votes to one, we win. Golden Boys it is!

Wade: That’s not how this works.

Heath: Why not?

Wade: Because I said so?
Ezekiel: That’s not fair.

Wade: Do you want me to go tell Vince that I think him winning the ECW title again and making you join his “Kiss My Ass” club is a good idea?

Ezekiel: No, sir.

Wade: That’s what I thought. Therefore, the name remains. We are the Corre.

*Wade raises his glass.*

Wade: To the Corre!

Corre (altogether): To the Corre!

Michael McGillicutty: To the Corre!

*All four members of the Corre shoot their heads toward the door and see Michael standing there sheepishly.*

Wade: What are you doing here?

Michael: Well, the New Nexus didn’t work out as planned, so I was hoping I could join the Corre.

Wade: No! Get out of here!

*Wade shoos Michael away and returns to the room.*

Wade: Can you believe that guy?

Heath: No. Besides, shouldn’t he be in Florida?

Wade: Anyway, to the Corre!

Corre (altogether): To the…

*They all look around to make sure the coast is clear.*

Corre (altogether): Corre!

Rotten to the Corre- Episode IV: Nocturnal Affair

Rotten to the Corre- Episode IV: Nocturnal Affair


Image created by 'Crap member, Section 8.

*Wade Barrett lies in his hotel bed, trying to fall asleep. Whenever he’s about to escape into a dream world, Heath Slater’s snoring wakes him up. After awhile, he snaps and jumps out of bed. He puts on a robe and storms out of the room. He pounds on the door of the room next to his. Justin Gabriel groggily opens the door.*

Justin: Wade, it’s 4 in the morning. Why are you pounding on our door?

Wade: You need to do something about your friend. He’s snoring like a bison and is preventing me from getting my beauty sleep.

Justin: I’ve told you before; I can’t do anything about that. We’ve tried snore guards but they don’t work. His mighty snore simply seeps through.

Wade: Here’s a solution: you share a room with him! After all, you two are best friends.

Justin: I can’t do that.

Wade: Why not?

Justin: Uh… because Ezekiel needs me.

Wade: *perplexed* What for?

Justin: Uh… he needs me, and me only, to read him a bedtime story in order to fall asleep.

*Ezekiel Jackson hears this and wakes up.*

Ezekiel: No I don’t! That’s a blatant lie and you know it! You just don’t want to deal with Heath’s snoring.

Justin: Shut up, Ezekiel!

Wade: That settles it. We’re switching roommates!

Justin: Hey look, it’s John Cena.

Wade: CENER! Where?!?

*Justin slams the door, leaving Wade standing in the hallway. He starts pounding and shouting.*

Wade: Open up, Justin!

*Curt Hawkins opens his door and screams at Wade.*

Curt: Knock it off! Some of us are trying to sleep!

Wade: What for? It’s not like you’re going to be booked in a match tomorrow. Dennis Stamp has a better chance of being booked than you do.

*Curt Hawkins stares blankly at Wade before bursting into tears and running back into his room. Wade does heed to his demands and returns to his room. He once again tries to fall asleep, but Heath’s snoring prevents that from happening. In a fit of rage, he wakes him up.*
Wade: That’s it, Heath! Wake up!

*Wade shakes Heath’s bed, instantly waking him up.*

Heath: What the hell is wrong with you, Wade?!? I was dreaming that I was just crowned Miss America.

Wade: You’re snoring has to… wait, why were you dreaming that you were Miss America?

Heath: *embarrassed* I didn’t say that.

Wade: Yes, you did.

Heath: No, I said I was dreaming that I was Mr. Amazing from the Fantastic Four.

Wade: That’s Mr. Fantastic.

Heath: Crap! Uh, I mean… you read comics? What a nerd!

Wade: Nerd jokes, really? Who are you, Michael Cole?

Heath: Maybe I am!

Wade: That’s nothing to be proud of.

Heath: Good point. Anyway, why did you wake me up?

Wade: You’re snoring has to stop. I can’t sleep!

Heath: It’s not as if I can help it. Trust me, I tried. Just put a pillow over your head and you’ll be fine.

Wade: I’ve tried that. You snore like a bison and are easily heard, even if I put Mark Henry over my head.

Heath: That sounded dirty.

Wade: Heath…

Heath: Also, how do you know how a Bison snores? Were you abandoned as a child and raised by them? Or is Mantaur your father?

Wade: *perplexed* I… I don’t even have a response to that. What I do know is that if I don’t get my beauty sleep I’ll look terrible in the ring.

Heath: The Corre are all equals, right?

Wade: Yeah, what’s your point?

Heath: If so, then me getting a full night’s sleep means you will have as well.

Wade: That doesn’t make any sense, Heath.

Heath: That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you since the beginning.

Wade: Hey!

Heath: Look, my snoring isn’t going to stop. If you can’t sleep, why don’t you do something productive? Go hang out with CM Punk. I’m sure he’s still awake.

Wade: Are you an idiot?!? Why would I hang out with Punk? He kicked me out of Nexus and I hate him!

Heath: Sorry, I forgot.

Wade: How could you forget that?

Heath: I’m like Creative; I forget a lot of things. I’m going back to bed.

*Heath drifts back off to sleep, much to the chagrin of Wade. Knowing he won’t fall asleep with Heath in the same room, he heads down to the lobby to see if another one is available.*

Wade: Excuse me, do you have any more rooms available?

Clerk: I’m sorry, sir, we’re all booked. The superstars of the WWE are here. Maybe you’ll get lucky and meet some of them.

Wade: I am one of them!

Clerk: Really? Which one?

Wade: I’m Wade Barrett, former leader of the Nexus and current member of the Corre.

Clerk: Sorry, doesn’t ring a bell.

Wade: Did you watch last year’s Survivor Series?

Clerk: Yeah, it was a great show!

Wade: I was in the main event.

Clerk: Really?!?

Wade: Yes! I challenged Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.

Clerk: That was you?

Wade: Yes! Who did you think it was?

Clerk: *shrugs his shoulders* I don’t know.

*Wade gets frustrated and nearly flips his lid, but opts to storm the hallways instead. He bumps into Daniel Bryan.*

Wade: Daniel, what are you still doing up?

Daniel: Fooling around with Gail.

Wade: How did you ever get a woman like her?

Daniel: You see, I…

Wade: Never mind, I don’t care! Where’s Punks’ room?

Daniel: It’s the last door on the right.

*Wade begins to walk towards the room, only to be called upon by Daniel.*

Daniel: By the way, Wade, I was wondering; how are things going for the Corre?

Wade: They’re going pretty…

Daniel: IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW THINGS ARE!

*Wade has the most shocked look on his face. He stand there in disbelief for nearly a minute, before breaking the silence.*

Wade: Did you just do a Rock impersonation?

Daniel: Yeah, what’d you think?

Wade: Don’t ever do it again. EVER!

*Daniel shrugs him off and walks back to his room. Wade goes to Punk’s door and contemplates on knocking.*

Wade: I can’t believe I’m doing this.

*Wade knocks on the door. Punk answers, but only pokes his head out to the door.

Punk: Wade, what the hell are you doing here?!?

Wade: I’m not looking for trouble. I just wanted to ask you a favor.

Punk: Fine, I’ll let you back into the Nexus. But, you must scrub my back every night and tell me how good I am.

Wade: What? No! Why would I want to rejoin the Nexus? The Corre is going strong and actually has it’s members still intact.

Punk: That’s cold, dude.

Wade: It’s the truth. Anyway, I wanted to know if I could use your room tonight. Heath’s snoring is keeping me awake and I figure, since you’re an insomniac, that you wouldn’t be needing it.

Punk: Tough luck, I am using it.

Wade: For what?

Punk: None of your business!

Wade: Don’t get testy with me! I was simply asking a question.

*The two begin to argue when a voice interrupt them. It is very raspy and demanding. Wade is familiar with it.*

Wade: Is that…

Punk: No!
*Mae Young interrupts the two, wearing nothing but a towel.*

Mae: What’s holding you up, boy?

Wade: Oh my God!

Punk: It’s not what it looks like! She needed help with her dentures and I’m simply giving her a hand.

Wade: Why isn’t she wearing any clothes?

Punk: That’s because she…

Mae: It’s because he’s giving me a hand in the old sackarooni, if you know what I mean.

Wade: I don’t think I want to.

*Punk shoves Mae back into the room and comes out into the hallway with Wade, closing the door behind him.*

Punk: This is between me and you. I’m only sleeping with her because I’ve made my way through the single ladies in the locker room. I was bored and horny and she happened to be in town. If anything, this is me doing a good deed for once.

Wade: What kind of a good deed is that?

Punk: Helping out the elderly. She may be old, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have needs. Besides, she has a few tricks up her sleeve.

Wade: That’s just sick! I’ve got to tell people.

Punk: No! You do it and I reveal the bigger picture.

Wade: How do you know what the bigger picture is?

Punk: David Otunga told me.

Wade: I don’t believe you.

*Punk whispers the bigger picture into Wade’s ear.*

Wade: That son of a bitch!

Punk: Is this between me and you, then?

Wade: Yes.

Punk: Good! Now, be on your way, young one.

*Wade starts to leave, only for Punk to stop him.*

Punk: Also, don’t think about telling your boys, either. Otunga also told me about that night in Las Vegas.

Wade: He promised it was a secret!

Punk: Can it, prom queen! Go back to your room and snuggle with Ron Howard.
*Wade is visibly pissed, but leaves knowing the circumstances. He heads back to his room, but chooses to sleep on the floor outside. That way he doesn’t hear Heath’s snoring. He finally starts to drift off to sleep, only for images of Punk and Mae Young start dancing in his head. Mortified, he gets and goes back into his room.*

Wade: Damn you, Punk!

Rotten to the Corre- Episode III: A Hairy Situation

*Wade Barrett is using his phone, presumably texting someone. It makes a message bleep, the same heard every Monday night on Raw whenever the GM makes an announcement.*

Heath: The Raw GM has an announcement! Oh, wait…

Wade: Relax. It’s just my phone. Somebody sent me a tweet.

*Wade reads the tweet and is visibly irate.*

Wade: Damn it, Heath! Why did your hair tweet me?

Heath: I don’t know. Why don’t you ask it?

Wade: Heath, stop playing around it! This is ridiculous!

Heath: What’s so ridiculous about it?

Wade: Your hair has a Twitter. That should answer your question.

Heath: It should, but it doesn’t.

*Justin Gabriel walks over to Heath and talks into his hair.*

Justin: Tweet him again. I want to do something funny.

Wade: Oh, come on, Justin! That’s…

*Wade’s phone goes off again. As it makes the noise, Justin turns the lights on and off.*

Justin: Now it’s like the Raw GM.

Heath: Nice!

*Heath and Justin high five, while Ezekiel Jackson laughs in the background.*

Wade: Stop laughing, Ezekiel!

*Ezekiel frowns.*

Justin: Stop being mean to Ezekiel!

Wade: Sorry, Ezekiel. I’m just a little frustrated right now.

Heath: Over my hair. Which is honestly pathetic, if you think about it. No offense.

Wade: Saying “no offense” doesn’t make your comment any less offensive, Heath.

Heath: You’re right! Let me make it up to you.

Wade: No, thank you! I can’t possibly imagine what your help would entail.
*Heath busts out his laptop and goes on Twitter. He’s very mysterious and secretive about what he’s doing, not even allowing Justin access.*

Justin: Come on, Heath! I want to see what you’re doing!

Heath: Give me a few minutes, Justin.

Justin: I want to see now!

*Justin starts throwing a temper tantrum. Ezekiel comes over and calms him down, while Wade face palms. After a few minutes of silence, Heath is finished.*

Heath: Done!

Justin: Sweet! Let me see!

*Heath turns his laptop, giving the other Corre members a view of his creation.*

Wade: YOU MADE MY SHOULDERS A TWITTER!

Heath: Yeah! I thought, since you were so jealous of my glorious hair having one, that your burly shoulders should get one to compensate.

Justin: Neat! I want one for my beard.

Ezekiel: I want one for my smile.

Wade: You’re not getting one for your smile, Ezekiel!

*Ezekiel frowns.*

Heath: Don’t worry, Ezekiel. Shawn Michaels had a Twitter for his smile, but he lost it.

Justin: Can I still have one for my beard?

Wade: No!

Justin: Why not?

Wade: It’s not menacing! Neither is having a Twitter for my shoulder or Heath’s hair. I want them deleted!

Heath: Relax, Sparky! Twitter’s not serious business. Nobody’s going to doubt our masculinity for having one. Besides, you yourself have a Twitter.

Wade: I use it for ethical and educational purposes. Such as giving today’s youth knowledge of artists such as Orwell.

Justin: You also make fun of Heath constantly.

Wade: Which is important to inform today’s youth.

Ezekiel: That Heath’s an idiot?

Wade: Yes! He’s also a bit slow when it comes to insults.

Heath: If it means that much to you, I’ll delete your shoulders. My hair stays, though.

Wade: *rolls eyes* Fair enough.

*Heath deletes the shoulder Twitter.*

Heath: Happy now?

Wade: Yes. Now, let’s go. We’ve got a plane to catch.

*The Corre gather their things and head out the door. As they’re about to leave, Heath stops dead in his tracks.*

Heath: Hey, I’m not an idiot!

Rotten to the Corre-Episode II: WENDY'S!

*The Corre arrive at Wendy’s.*

Wade: We did great tonight, guys! We proved our dominance and made an example out of Kane & Big Show. Best of all, we kept the tag titles. It’s time to celebrate!

Justin & Ezekiel: WENDY’S!

Heath: *mutters* Stupid Wendy’s.

*The Corre walk into Wendy’s and are greeted with applause and elation. The customers get out of their seats and run towards them*

Wade: That’s right, give us our due respect!

Crowd: Oh my God! It’s Wendy!

*Wade looks pissed.*

Heath: What? No! I’m not Wendy! Tell them I’m not Wendy, Wade.

*Wade ponders.*

Wade: He’s Wendy.

*Wade walks to the counter with a grin on his face. The crowd bombards Heath, with Justin staying behind to fend them off.*

Employee: What can I get for you?

Ezekiel: I’ll have four Baconators, four large fries and four large sodas.

Wade: Thanks for getting the whole group dinner!

Ezekiel: Who said I was ordering for you guys?

Wade: *confused* You got all that food and… never mind. I’m in too good of a mood tonight. I’ll have the Fish Fillet with a Baked Potato and Hot Tea. Oh, and… *yells* FROSTY’S ON THE HOUSE!

*The crowd cheers. Wade and Ezekiel grab a table, with Heath and Justin joining them.*

Heath: What the hell was that for, Wade?!?

Wade: My amusement.

Heath: Yeah, well I don’t find it very amusing. I had a woman rip a lock of hair out of my head.

Wade: Why would anybody want a lock of that greasy mess?

Justin: Hey, Heath isn’t Bret Hart.

Heath: Nice!

*Heath and Justin knuckle bump.*
Justin: At least you made up for it by getting everybody Frosty’s.

Ezekiel: About that. If we’re supposed to be menacing, then why are we treating people to Frosty’s?

Wade: You know, I didn’t think of that. How are we going to fix this?

Heath: I know.

*Heath gets out of his chair, goes up to each customer and dumps their Frosty’s on them.*

Heath: Ha! You all just got frosted!

Wade: That was your plan?

Heath: It made them hate us, didn’t it?

Wade: Maybe, but it also made us look like idiots! We want to be menacing, not pull of pranks like the Hamburglar.

Justin: Wrong fast food chain, bro.

Wade, Heath & Ezekiel: Bro?

Wade: Have you been hanging out with Zack Ryder again?

Justin: *sheepishly* No.

*The manager walks up to their table.*

Manager: Folks, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

Wade: Why?

Manager: You doused our other customers with Frosty’s. You can’t do that.

Wade: Why not? We beat the tar out of Kane & Big Show and faced no consequences.

Manager: Who?

Heath: Kane & Big Show. You know, the two giants. One used to wear a mask, but had to take it off after Triple H beat him. All because of a rumor that he molested the corpse of Katie Vick. Then there’s Big Show, who had his father’s funeral interrupted by the Big Boss Man, who proceeded to drive the casket out of the graveyard.

Manager: *petrified* Little lady, I don’t know what your problem is. All I know is you and your lackeys better get out of here now before I call the cops.

Heath: I’m not a girl!

Wade: I’m not his lackey!

Ezekiel: I’m not done eating!

Justin: I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Manager: Out, now!

*The Corre is escorted out of the Wendy’s.*

Wade: Way to go, Heath. Get us kicked out of Wendy’s!

Heath: If you didn’t buy everybody a Frosty, we wouldn’t have this problem!

Wade: I’m not the one who poured them all over their heads!

Heath: Yeah, well…

Justin: Guys, knock it off! You’re making Ezekiel upset.

Ezekiel: *frowning* I want my Baconator.

Justin: Don’t worry, Ezekiel. We’ll go to another Wendy’s and get you your Baconator. Wade and Heath, apologize.

Wade & Heath: We’re sorry.

Justin: That’s better. Now let’s all go to another Wendy’s and forget about this mess. Heath, I suggest you disguise yourself this time.

Heath: As what?

Justin: David Otunga. Nobody will recognize you.

Rotten to the Corre: Episode 1

Wade Barret: Alright, this is what we're gonna do. Heath, stay out of the way! All you do is cause problems and act like a buffoon. Just stay in the background and play your Rock Band game.

Heath: It's One Man Rock Band, Wade.

Wade: Damn it, Heath! Don't correct me! I HATE YOU HEATH SLATER! I HATE YOU!

Justin: Hey, be nice to Heath!

Wade: Stay out of this, Justin. If it weren't for you, he'd be kicked to the road by now. I left Nexus to get away from him.

Heath: You didn't leave Nexus. You were kicked out.

Wade: HEATH!

Heath: At least me and Justin walked out in style, like real men. *flips hair*

Wade: Justin, control Heath! Speaking of you, I need you to hit your 450 Splash. I don't care how big the guy is, you do it. It looks nice and wows the crowd.

Justin: I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I don't want to do the 450 anymore. It hurts.

Wade: Oh, boo hoo Justin! You don't see me complaining about my move.

Justin: That's because you simply hoist somebody on your shoulders and drop them. I've got to risk my life doing an insane flip that, if done wrong, could break my neck.

Wade: Then make Heath do it.

Heath: I don't know how.

Wade: Of course you don't. You're Heath Slater, you can't do anything right!

Justin: Knock it off!

Wade: Do you want to be kicked out of the group?

Justin: *sad face* No.

Wade: That's what I thought. Do your move, keep Heath out of the way and don't, I repeat, DON'T smile!

Ezekiel: Can I smile?

Wade: No.

Ezekiel: Why not?

Wade: You're smile is... weird.

Ezekiel: What do you mean by that?

Wade: Nothing personal. It's a fine smile, but isn't menacing. It looks as if you just helped an old lady cross the street and are proud of it.

Ezekiel: What's wrong with helping an old lady cross the street?

Wade: *Frustrated* Nothing! It's simply not menacing.

Ezekiel: Why do we have to be menacing?

Wade: Because I said so!

Heath: Did Stone Cold say so?

Wade: Shut the hell up, Heath!

Ezekiel: We're getting off track. What do you want me to do?

Wade: Play back-up. If we get into trouble, hit the ring and take out our enemy. You seem to be good at that.

Ezekiel: *smiles* Thanks!

Wade: Stop smiling!

Justin: So, what are you going to do, Wade?

Wade: I'm going to stand back and watch. I'll give you all commands and, if need be, will assist you guys.

Heath: *mutters* And probably get chokeslammed by Big Show.

Wade: What was that?!?

Heath: Nothing.

Wade: That's what I thought. Remember, we're all equals. If you look bad, that means I look bad. I can't have that happening. Now, let's go out there and do business. Afterwards, we'll go to Wendy's.

Justin and Ezekiel: WENDY'S!

*The Corre exit the locker room*

Heath: *sad* Why do we always have to go to Wendy's?