It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the first two Killjoy films. Not since 2003, to be exact, when I first started getting into horror films. At that point, I had a weird scavenger hunt going on. Whilst catching up on the classics such as Psycho and Frankenstein, I had a fascination in the outlandish. Anything involving killer dolls or evil clowns automatically grabbed my attention. Once I seen the Double Feature DVD of the Killjoy flicks, I snatched it up!
The only thing I remember about the films (outside of Killjoy, of course) is that I hated them! I know I found them boring and groan inducing, but can’t quite remember what made them so. I assumed Killjoy himself was an annoying character and that all of the kills, the main selling point, were forgettable and lame. I know for a fact I was right on that last point, considering my predicament.
When I seen a third movie was made, I felt strangely compelled to watch it. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, as I seem to have a fetish for bad films. I’m drawn to them like flies on a rib roast. It’s like a car accident, that being you can’t look away.
I blame those rib-hungry flies for this.
After viewing Killjoy 3, I think I can come to a conclusion as to why I hated the first two. My assumptions were correct; Killjoy’s an annoying Pennywise clone, the kills are insubstantial and the script is filled to the rim with plot holes. John Lechago seems to make the rules up as he goes along, contradicting elements from earlier in the film. It leaves you begging questions as opposed to focusing on the story.
Did he write this rule book, as well?
Not that there’s much of a story here. Killjoy is a demon clown who can be summoned for revenge. All you have to pay him in return is your blood (which resurrects him) and a victim. Also, your soul is apart of the package, but it’s in the fine print that nobody reads. A professor (Darrow Igus) summons Bozo the Clown’s long lost brother, only to trick him and seal him inside a mirror. Why a mirror?
“Why not?”
In all actuality, he’s trapped in his realm. For reasons unknown, he’s able to drag victims into this world via a mirror. I wonder if Marsha Brady had this power. He can also hop into our world, but won’t capture his victim’s soul unless their in his playground. Don’t ask questions, just go with it. That’s what got me through this movie.
“Won’t you be my neighbor?”
Ten years after being imprisoned, his magical mirror appears on the porch of the Professor’s house. As luck would have it, he’s out of town and has put one of his students on house-sitting duty. Why any professor would allow a college student to watch over his house is beyond me. You’re basically giving them an invitation to throw a party.
Which is exactly what Erica (Olivia Dawn Yorke) and her friends, Rojer (Michael Rupnow), Sandy (Jessica Whitaker) and Zilla (Spiral Jackson), do. That’s right, one of the characters is named Zilla. No signs of this being a nickname, but being presented as his actual name. As for the question that I know is in your head, they do make Godzilla jokes.
Seems as if he didn’t take the God out of Godzilla, after all.
Despite a bad name, Zilla is a likable guy. You could argue that all four of the characters are likable, though I’d make an issue over Erica. The problem is none of them are given anything to work with. There’s no reason for us to care about them, as the dialogue they’re given makes them sound like idiots. I call this the standard slasher method. Create characters nobody cares about, that way nobody feels bad when they die. Even then, you have to have one protagonist who’s worth rooting for. Killjoy 3 has none.
To give you an example of the poor writing, all of the characters seem to know who Killjoy is, only to act as if they’ve never heard of him a few minutes later. After coming back from his first visit from Killjoy’s realm, Zilla mentions he’s seen Killjoy. Rojer acts shocked, only to question who the hell he is a few minutes later. This happens throughout the duration of the film, dragging the film down.
John Lechago seems to do this a lot with his script, adding meaningless conversations to keep the film moving. It’s as if the script was only ten pages long and he told the cast to improvise. The film feels it, as the only sequences that are given any effort are the wacky scenarios that take place in Killjoy’s realm. Clown boxing, human feast and clown on human erotica are all ideas that were floating around in Lechago’s head, all in need of substance.
Don’t you want to see this clown get it on?
If you’re wondering, Killjoy doesn’t partake in all of these practices (though he does nearly get his groove on). He has three henchman that helps him do his bidding. Punchy the Clown (Al Burke), whose duties should be clear; Freakshow (Tai Chan Ngo), a clown who has a clown baby attached to him; and Batty Boop (Victoria De Mare), who serves as Killjoy’s girlfriend/assistant. Can you guess who she’s named after?
I always thought Betty Boop would make for a good psychotic clown.
None of them seem to serve much of a purpose, outside of adding more clowns to the mix. Punchy at least does his shtick during one sequence, while Freakshow seems to serve about as much purpose as Rob Schneider in an Adam Sandler comedy. Batty Boop fares the best, as she gets the most screen time. However, she never once swings a bat, deeming her name worthless. You’d think Lechago would at least follow up on that “clever” name.
They also serve as Killjoy’s news team.
Lechago never follows up on anything, really. He constantly sets up kill sequences, only to have the victims survive for another few minutes. Killjoy seems to take his sweet old time in offing his prey, which would be fine if he salivated in their fear. The fact that he keeps bitching that he wants to kill throws this theory out the window. If you want and need to kill, then do so when the opportunity appears. Stop pussyfooting around and get the job done already!
Killjoy 3 only lasts 78 minutes, but only 18 of those matter. The other hour is spent with Killjoy making dumb jokes, the protagonists acting dumb and the supporting clowns standing around waiting for something to do. Even the 18 minutes that actually accomplishes something and moves the story along is boring and convoluted. Once the credits rolled, I had a headache from all of the absurdity. Here’s hoping I forget about this one just like I did with the first two.
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